Imagine if you will a therapy that is based on what is “right” with the client. The purpose of that therapy would be to focus on what is working  and to increase that, which is working, in your life and in the life of those around you. Is that a novel concept?

Imagine waiting to catch someone doing something right. Saying things that are positive about others. Looking at what is valuable and wonderful in others. This is not about denying what is going on in your life, it is about not focusing on those things that are not working in your life and beginning to put your focus on those things that are working. It is about focusing on that part of your relationship that is wonderful and joyful and remembering that, when there is upset and disagreement.

It would work in this manner, you and your spouse are having an argument, and rather than pull up all of the old garbage from the past, as is the regular pattern, you pull up the time you both laughed together, how wonderful it was when you made love, what a great card that was they gave you. What would happen to the argument? It would have nowhere to go and the energy would change. Your attitude would change and the attitude of your spouse would change.

Imaging doing that with your children. You are unhappy with them about something and rather than remind them and yourself about the last time you were unhappy with them, you remind them of the time you were overjoyed with their behavior. And you emphasis that and acknowledge them for that, and remind them of all of the times their behavior was appropriate and pleasing to you. Do you think they would respond to you differently? Of course they would and their behavior would change, also.

 © Copyright 2009 Heartsight Therapy